Cyber Taste of Living

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For an average of 6 hours a day, the only taste of living that is on my tongue is within the realm of my computer.  I am not trusted enough to spontaneously flee off to the park or local shopping center with my friends.  (That’s the price I pay for the sins of a mother who lives like a 20 year-old instead of with the wisdom that should accompany being on this earth for almost a half-century.)

Then again, I’m not sure I would want to flee off with any of my friends to some location. Any location, really. To be around people who are far more privileged than myself can get tiring. Money never lines my pockets. My caretaker (my maternal grandmother) struggles to pay a meager $17 dollars for a standardized test. I can’t help but feel a longing when I see other kids receive their permits and subsequently their driver licenses or imply that they will not be totally dependent on scholarships when they go to college. I cannot afford to take the test to receive my permit. My family’s income is provided solely by the government, so college without a loan or some sort of scholarship is out of the question. I feel a longing to be able to afford the life of the average suburban teenager. I feel a longing to be able to easily afford what I need, not just what I want. I want to know what the feeling of asking my grandmother for $10 and for her not to beg my great-uncle for extra money.

So without that taste of living from the internet lingering on my tongue, I would be more isolated than I am already.The internet allows me to touch the world without ever stepping into the world I cannot currently (and have not been able to for years) afford.


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