A Brief, Unfiltered (Possisibly Offensive) Look at How Unsurprised I Am about the “Duck Dynasty” Fiasco

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I will never make another post about this ever again. Ever. I just want to add my own, mostly humorous insight about this shitshow as an outsider who’s being constantly pestered about these hillbilly duck hunters.

An elderly man from the Deep South believes the gay community will burn in hell? Well, someone get the defibrillator because my heart has been shocked into stillness! I will not comment on what he said because I know that whole spill. Any LGBTQ person with a hardcore religious family member knows most of that speech and hopefully gained enough confidence in themselves to roll their eyes at it. Personally, I don’t care about anyone’s opinion who only has faulty logic to back them up, and the Bible has lent millions a durable brand of faulty logic for centuries. And I’m not offended at all by someone telling me I’m going to Hell. You tell me I’m going to burn in Hell? I have a three part reply:

  1. The concept of Hell being a place of fire and brimstones originates in Dante’s Inferno, not the Bible.
  2. I doubt Hell even exists.
  3. If Hell does exist and I am going there and it actually has fire, I know the fire will compliment my skintone quite well as my flesh begins to sear off. I hope the Devil allows iPhones so someone can Instagram how hot I look. (Pun completely intended)

I’m tired of seeing it on my Facebook wall. I don’t care about the show, nor am I shocked by his words because, well, he’s a elderly redneck. Ask any old man in the South, especially the Deep South, how he feels about the gays and I would be surprised if he didn’t say what Mr — shit, what’s his name? — said. He has the right to say it, people have the right to react, and I have the right to not care about his opinion.

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